anti-trust.

secret, secret, show yourself.

secret, secret, step into the light.

you still attempt to hide yourself.

we battle the lies with the truth in this fight.

distruction is what you will bring to me

if you do not from my soul flee!

good ridence! i scream in my deepest heart!

i hate what you do to two lovers.

festering, festering, you stir heated embers.

emersed in your fear, it drips from me slowly.

this drama played out with disembody my members.

get out! get out! you are enchanting and glowing.

cast your spell on another pair of gawking orbs.

this is a blow that my soul does not readily absorb.

beaten and bruised, i am fragile and soon will break.

you think i don't know you but my Lover is not yours to take.

back, you vile temptress. take your trickery elsewhere

you are not welcome here. you are not welcome here.

trust. calm down my soul. be quiet within me.

the Lord is moving.

there is a movement inside of me. a slow and steady movement, swaying to the rythms of the Lord's sweet song that He sings over me. and my spirit dances and He spins me around, He is leading this dance. and i am following. and i will follow wherever He goes.

i trust His gentle and delicate ways, His sudden movements that might take me by surprise. in His patience, He teaches me the ways that He wants me to go. in His Love fear is driven out because His Love is such a perfect and powerful force. fear cannot dwell in Love.

i got a love letter today:) it made my heart spin...

the Lord is doing something NEW. will i not be aware of it!? will i not remember Him for what He has done and what He is doing?! i must give Him the acclaim for this work is mysterious, it is invading the depths of my human soul and healing, mending and cleansing everything that was hurt, torn and dirty. this is a beautiful and treasured process. and i am treasuring all of these things and holding them in my heart.

joy. i have never know deeper joy. i have never known the faithfulness and favor of the Lord like this. it's so raw. it's so real.

blessings and Love devine.

i have been afraid. i have been prideful. i have been hesitant to obey you, my God. i have wanted to run the other way. my flesh flaires up and throws a tantrum and your grace meets me in it and shows me the way i am to go...i am repentant today. let the spirit of repentance rest upon me untill it produces a humility and love that can only be you. thank you, Lord, for choosing me for this task. for the task of loving someone. you have entrusted him into my hands and i want to be faithful in love. love is selfless. love doesnt defend its own rights. love is patient. love doesn't complain. love does not cringe when it's snapped at. love never fails...do it God. do it in me.

knit our hearts together. that is my prayer. let love grow. let love bloom. water it with your word, nurture it with your holy spirit. show me how to love like you.

Christ, be the center of my life. i want to be in your perfect will. i don't want to greive your heart. break my heart for what breaks yours.

peace. let me be gentle and compassionate.

touch me and change me, my Lover God.

i want more of you.

we will sing...

becuase You restore the waisted years...

You will dance over all our coming fears...

Lord, you are doing something new. it is moving in me. it is moving in lakecounty. it is moving in Your church, Your Bride, all across this nation...all over the world. i am excited.

i am expectant. i have stepped down from 'ministry'. this is going to be a blessed, sacred month. You are awakening my heart to so many things that you are...to your ways...to yourself. and i am tender. i am sensative. i feel your nearness. i sense you resting upon me. a ask for increase, Lord. more. stepping back from it all is allowing me to see from a different angle. eternity is written on my heart. use me to bless. i want to bless You, Lord. i want to bless those that i come in contact with daily.

and i have come to love someone. this is new. this is different.i didn't think i could care this deeply for someone. i didn't understand waiting on you to awaken love fully, now i do becuase you are...a heart awakened by you is different than a heart awakened by the worlds idea or it's own ideas of what love should be and how it should go or what it should look like. you are writting this story. it is selfless. it is joyfull. it is painful. it is beautiful. thank you for what you are about to do...

sharpen my senses, my senses of discernment and awareness of what is going on in the eternal realm more and more. i am entering into a new way of life. i will press in. i must press in.

 prayer.fasting.intercession.peace.love.joy.hunger.depths i've never seen.

at the end of the day i am just a plain woman in need of her God.

let my 22nd year be marked by desperation for my Lover God.

what you are doing...

what are you doing?

show me how to love, Lord. You are the best of all teachers.

love is selfless.

love casteth out fear.

i am learning much on these truths as i stirve to see them acted out in my own life through the power of Christ in me.

Christ in me is the hope of glory. amen.

beauty. i see it in everything. i have new eyes.

humble me, Lord, as i learn about self sacrifice. about showing someone that i love them to prove my words. about following through and being loyal. being strong. being full of grace and mercy.

let your mercy and grace fall on me. let them cover me.

i love You.

so much is changing. i could be afraid of what i do not know, what i do not see but i will trust You.

i am reminded from proverbs that i may make my plans but You, O Lord, determine my steps.

also, "The Lord knoweth the way that i take."

Your eye is on the sparrow. Your eye is also on me. i am under Your care and i have nothing to fear because you are the Faithful and True.

i need You more than ever. i want you. i love you, my Soul.